Just a thinking out loud

I have had a really hard time wanting to go to church lately. I feel as though I have never felt before about church.
When I was young I didn't like to go because my parents made me.(and any of you who know me , know that anything my parents want for me I dont want.) And now I feel like I should be there. I want to be there...I really want to, want to be there. But since I started going back to church here it has been so loud and disruptive in church . I cant listen and I feel alot of not nice things about other people who are there. Mostly parents who are too disrepectful to take there loud children out inot the hall like they should. I understand that children make noises sometimes and its bound to happen now and then. But it is every sunday and its very very loud. Alomost all of the kids are making some kind of noise and parents are talking with one another.
I am finding it very hard to feel the spirit.

I have a very reverent feeling about my church experiance as a youth. And I wonder about the other people who go to church with me. I wonder if the other people had the same experiences i had as a child. Or if they had a very loud experience. I wonder if any of them feel the spirit when thye go to church. Or is it just a place to socialize? Is it just a place they go because they feel like they have to go? Church is a place you should go to becuase you WANT to not only because you should go. I want to go to church. i plan to go to church ,every Saturday night I plan in my head what I am gonna wear and how much time I need t get ready in the morning. I know that when I comes to church the thought is not all that counts. But I really feel like going to church should be a spiritual experience. I feel like if I go with the right attitude it would be worth all of the noise. I also feel like if you go just to go and you have anger in your heart , is that the best place for you to be?
I know that church is where I need to be every Sunday. But I want it to be more of an experience like my childhood,for my children. I dont want them to think that this is the norm for our church because it isn't.
Well i just needed to get that off my chest. I do feel better now. Who knows maybe I will be at church on Sunday with a smile on my face and in my heart. Who knows? I do.....:-)

My fisrt blog

Well, this is my first blog page. I have only made a couple of blog posts with my myspace page. So I guess here is where I give information about myself.
I am a mother of three boys ages 13,11, &2 I have been married for almost 12 years. I come from a pretty big family. I am one of six chilren and I am the only girl. I am not the youngest though. My baby brother Jared stole that thunder from me..(thanks Jared..lol)
I live in Maricopa Az and have lived here for about 3 years.
I met my husband in Alaska and we married less then a year later. I will not lie to you and tell you that being married is easy and that every day for that past 12 years I have been maddly in love with my husband. There were probably days there where I didn't even like him.
But with any realtionship there are good days and bad. But what truely makes all the difference in the world is that we are there for eachother everyday.
My partner is a wonderful father and husband. I know tha he loves me with his whole heart. I know that because we never go a day without telling eachother "I love you" less then like ten time. It isn't anything we have strived for we just do it.( I am not sure if strived is the word I wanted.)
I love watching my children every day. They have new things to talk about and new things to do that always makes me laugh. I get such a kick out of them. I just hope that they know that. I need to spend a little more time telling them how much they mean to me.
So I am not sure I have much more to share so I will end this now.
Please feel free to tell me what you think of my first blog page.
Later I will fill ti pictures and more on my children.
see ya later
Julie